Ford's Created Another Monster, Maybe

Here's a question: Would Swedish meatballs go with General Tso's Chicken?

Why am I asking? Well, it's because Ford is selling Volvo to the Chinese.

In particular, Ford is selling their Swedish boxy sedan division to Geely, one of the larger Chinese car manufacturers.

In a sense, this is a good thing because Ford doesn't have to worry about Volvo's dead weight. In the time Ford owned it, the Swedish car maker never posted a profit. Ford can't keep bleeding money, so getting rid of Volvo is a quick way to stop the flow.

But some people think it's a very shortsighted move.

Ford has sold Geely a carmaker and distribution network that's already set up in major markets across the country. Geely can pair it's cheaper cars with the more expensive Volvos and have the classic combo of basic and luxury cars.

So Ford has, in all likelihood, created a major competitor.

But that's what Ford does. It creates competitors. It's in the company's nature and in the family's DNA.

A hundred years ago, Henry Ford didn't instantly found the company that uses his name. There were three attempts. The first went up in flames faster than an oil rig fire. The second, though, lasted much longer, but without Henry. You see, Henry Ford had the same temper as a drunk, cracked out, grizzly bear. He pissed off his backers, who promptly threw him out of the company.

The backers hired a man named Henry Leland, who restarted car production under the name Cadillac. After a few years Cadillac cemented its reputation as a fine motor car and was bought out by William C. Durant's General Motors Corporation. At that point, GM already owned Buick and Oldsmobile, so by adding Cadillac, Durant created the basis for what became one of the largest companies in the world.

If Henry Ford hadn't pissed off his backers, Cadillac wouldn't exist and General Motors would have been a very different company.

Henry went on to create a third company, under his name, and created the Model T. That's where the Dodge brothers, Horace and John, came into the picture.

They were contracted to build chassis parts for Ford's cars. For a while the relationship was a good one and both parties prospered. But, eventually, Ford either pissed off the Dodge brothers or they got tired of being working for good old Henry.

So the Dodge brothers went out and started their own car company. It was a success, one of the top ten selling car companies in the US. But, after the brothers died in the early 20, Walter P. Chrysler came along and bought the company. This created the core for what we now know as the Chrysler Group.

If Ford hadn't alienated the brothers, Dodge wouldn't exist today.

Then, in the mid '20s, Ford pissed off (see a trend here?) one of his major supervisors, William S. Knudsen. This caused Knudsen to go work for GM, where he was put in charge of the Chevrolet division. At that point, Chevrolet was in a bit of a pickle. Back then it was in a different market position than it is today. Its cars were in the mid-luxury segment, rather like Buick is today. Chevrolets were selling, but not at the level management wanted them to.

So Knudsen took the car downmarket, putting it in direct competition with Ford. He also streamlined production.

Chevrolet sales took off and left Ford in the dust. Over the next 60 years, Chevrolet would stay Number 1 in the American market, with Ford surpassing it only a handful of times.

If Henry Ford hadn't done what he did best, pissing people off, Chevrolet might not exist and GM would be much, much different.

But where would the world be if Henry Ford had mastered his temper? Certainly, other companies would have risen and taken Ford on, but I'm not sure they would have been worthy competitors like GM and Chrysler.

The unending war between the Big Three gave us the Muscle Car War, the cheap V8 engine, acres of chrome and countless pieces of important engineering. It's proof that competition is what powers industry. There is no reason to make your product better unless you're trying to beat the other son of a bitch at his own game.

So let the Chinese cars come. With Ford's track record, it should be one hell of a show.

From the Edges of the Market, a New Car Approaches

Suzuki is best known for their motorcycles, dirtbikes and ATVs––things that bounce through dirt like a hyperactive rabbit and sound like a pissed off weadeater.

But they also make cars.

Seriously.

But they're the kind of cars that no one notices. They're the kind of cars that sit at the edge of the market waiting for people to notice them. They're not particularly bad cars, but they don't have anything to recommend themselves.

For example, the Suzuki Verona:

It's a badge engineered Daewoo, which should be enough to send this thing to the lowest pits of Car Hell. But, in all seriousness, it's a decent way to get from A to B without any major trouble. It blends into the background like tan vinyl siding blends into a subdivision.

In the end, though, there was no real reason to buy this car unless you absolutely couldn't have a Chevy, Kia, Ford, Toyota, Honda, Hyundai, Volkswagen, Saturn or Dodge.

Like I said, Suzuki is kind of like that kid you always saw in middle school who sat in the back of the classroom with his hand held up for ten minutes and never got called on.

There was only one previous car that Suzuki made that I found even remotely interesting.

It was the Aerio hatchback:

Now I know that this car is, again, nothing special.

But what I really liked about it was the interior.

Actually, the interior is cheap as hell. The only thing I found cool was the thin slice that made up the gauge cluster above the steering wheel. In fact, I still think it's kind of neat.

But, the fact that I found this car remotely interesting proves that children really are entertained by shiny things.

Anyway, things are changing.

The first hint of this was the Suzuki SX4 hatchback that came out in 2006.

It's a nicely rounded, yet crisp car. It's available with AWD for under $20 thousand, and seems to have its own personality. Granted, it's a slightly redesigned Fiat, but it still looks like a nice car.

The interior isn't bad either.

While it's not groundbreaking or class leading (which goes for the whole car as well) it's still a step above what Suzuki offered before. That's what matters.

When a company breaks into a market there's two ways to do this. Either create something that totally dominates the competition, or start slowly and nip at other companies' heels.

The first option often leads to a company going bust because dominating the competition takes shit tons of cash.

Suzuki (who isn't dirt poor, but not bathing with money) has taken the second option, which takes a lot of time and Job like levels of patience. Honda and Toyota are the best examples of this. They wait, plan, build up a brand and then are suddenly at the top of the game, or so it appears.

Suzuki now has the kind of car that they can build their brand around. It's called the Kizashi:

While it sounds like a new sushi dish, or a sneezed Japanese greeting, it's a very nice looking car. It kind of reminds me of the newest Volkswagen Jetta.

But the Kizashi is entirely new and built only by Suzuki. That's the first sign of a serious car builder, no outsourcing of product.

So here is a nice looking sedan that, according to Automobile and Motor Trend, has some form of sporting pretensions. Its suspension was tuned at the Nurburgring in Germany, which is a race track that every gear head in the world has heard of and also a place that the average consumer couldn't care less about.

So it handles itself well enough to put a smile on someone's face. If that someone cares how well their car will carve through a corner.

While it's not in this picture, the Kizashi is available with a six-speed manual gearbox.

Leather is optional, as are all the other potentially useless options like memory seating and parking sensors.

So the Kizashi is shaping up to be a very mainstream, normal and probably vanilla car.

For once, that's not a bad thing. Suzuki needs to prove that it can build good cars that, most importantly, people would want to own. If they can market this car correctly as a viable alternative to the Hondas, Chevys, Kias and so forth, it should be a success.

I don't think that people like driving the same thing as everybody else. If Suzuki can build up its image and recognition with this car, the car world might just get a little bit better.

An Electric Future? Not yet.

According to the December issue of "Automobile Magazine," the Frankfurt Motor Show, held in Frankfurt, Germany declared that electricity has won the three way battle for the future of the automobile. Hydrogen and hybrids have lost.

I'm not so sure.

Automobile points to the concepts shown at Frankfurt. Most of them were electrics from Audi, Mercedes-Benz, Peugeot, Renault and Mitsubishi. Taken together, these companies represent the entire spectrum of cars from compacts to luxury.

Audi, in particular, completely embraced electricity with its e-tron concept.

Its got 308hp coming through the four electric motors that drive each wheel. In theory, it'll do 0-60 in 4.8 seconds.

That's the beauty of the electric motor, it lays down all of it's torque (the spinning force of an engine) instantly. There's no buildup, or revving, like in an internal combustion engine. So power isn't a problem when it comes to electric cars.

No, the greatest hurdle is the charging. That's what will hobble these cars.

Some people think that charging up large amounts of electrical vehicles will overload, and wipe out, the US power grid. Some studies have proven this to be false. But that debate is a moot point. The real problem, the real weak spot, is that the vehicles have to be charged in the first place.

For example, the e-tron. It would take 8 hours to charge it with a 220 volt outlet. With a 440 volt outlet the time gets cut to around 2 1/2 hours. Either way it's all too damn long.

The original purpose of the automobile was to create a form of freedom. Drivers could go anywhere after cranking an engine and hitting the throttle. All a car asks for is maintenance and gasoline.

There's no waiting. No eight hour charges and no plug ins.

That is why the electric car won't be the dominant form of transportation. At least not with the technology we have now. People won't buy a vehicle that requires them to map out their days, commutes and trips around charging times. It's inconvenient.

If the last ten years of technology have taught us anything it's that we won't tolerate anything inconvenient.

Electric cars will be popular in large cities or other places where destinations are fairly close, and charging times aren't as influential. Also, someone will surely create a quick charge system that will significantly lower charging times. However, that will probably reduce the life of the batteries, which are the most expensive parts of an electric car.

That is why hydrogen should get more attention. It's almost a renewable resource and, when used, produces only water. There's no charging. It's like gasoline and involves a filling station, which is much more familiar to consumers.

Hydrogens's critics point out that there is no national distribution system. But they've forgotten something. Gas stations didn't magically appear all over the US when the Ford Model T came out. It took time.

That is why the future of the automobile will be a bastardized one: change takes time. Gasoline, diesel, electric, hybrid and maybe even hydrogen cars will roam our streets all at the same time.

Someone saying that one power source has won is very shortsighted, and foolish.

The Next Mini, Now with 50 Percent Less Practicality

The degree of practicality is what often defines how cool a car is.

Impractical cars, like a Ferrari, are considered cool because they have ridiculously powerful engines that suck gas down faster than a black hole, stylish bumpers that can't get over a standard speedbump and prices that will buy at least four standard houses.

This inherent lack of usability, and high price, ensures that the most expensive cars will be driven rarely, which means it's an important event when people see one in person. Hence, the car is cool.

A Toyota Camry, on the other hand is very practical. It will seat at least four people, its trunk will carry everything from groceries to mom's potted plants and the price is something people can afford. Thus, it is seen everywhere and doesn't garner the same amount of attention.

So what does this have to do with the next Mini? Well, take a look.

Behold, the Mini Coupe Concept. This is what happens when Germans get creative and start playing with the roofs on hatchbacks.

For comparison to the original model:

All that glass and metal disappeared in the Coupe. It saved somewhere between 175 and 200lbs.

But there's still a trunk. It's not nearly as large as the standard model's hatchback, but at around eight cubic feet it's enough to carry a couple of boxes.

When they trimmed the roof they also threw out the backseats. By getting rid of the rear seats, ones that only children could sit in for a short period of time, Mini has increased the coolness factor of this car.

Now, that is a rather typical thing to say about a car, that it's cool. But when it comes to cars, and most products, image is everything. While Mini is still associated with sporty, fun to drive hatchbacks, it doesn't turn heads and garner a double-take any more.

When they first came out, people took notice of the hatchback because it was a fresh design. Now, they're seen everywhere and the redesign a couple of years ago didn't change enough to keep it fresh. So something new is needed.

By introducing some impracticality, and drastically changing the profile of the car, Mini created something new and interesting. It's something that will turn heads when it starts rolling down the streets, which will revive interest in the brand.

Combine those looks with a very nice interior and you've got a desirable compact car.


By wrapping the well equipped interior with a fresh package, and a decent sized trunk, Mini has found the intersection where useful and impractical meet at what should be a reasonable price.

When this is built, and it's going to reach showrooms eventually, let's hope that BMW doesn't change a thing.

It's a Mini-Vette

Behold, what you get when you Xerox a Corvette and hit the 70 percent button: the Opel GT (1968-1973).

It's a wee German car from Opel, another company that GM keeps in its wallet like an extra credit card. Thankfully GM decided to keep Opel around instead of axing it in their bankruptcy massacre and sell off.

Anyway, back to the car. It really is like a small Corvette. It's got the classic long hood, short trunk that's long been the definitive look for a sports car.

The headlights don't pop up, they roll over. Inside the car is a lever that the driver has to crank to turn the lights over. It would be pretty annoying, but at least it's simple.

You'd never see anything like that in a modern German car. Instead, they use a voice activated button that pops up under the brake pedal and the driver has to press it three times (with their pinky toe) while reciting the refrain of "Ode to Joy" backwards.

The GT, then, is pretty much the antithesis of the German car industry as we know it today.

For proof, just look at the name: GT. It's not GX45882726il. Just two letters. It's enough.

The car is so basic that it doesn't even have a trunk lid. Seriously.

Luggage, or what little you can fit in it, has to get shoved in behind the seats. Which is fine because, really, how much cargo can you fit in a car this small?

To give you an idea of just how tiny this thing is, I've heard stories of these things driving under semi-truck trailers without any problems. Or decapitations. It's a tiny grand tourer (GT) that two people are meant to use for a short weekend getaway.

That's what's refreshing about the GT, it knows what it is and it doesn't compromise. It doesn't try to offer luxury appointments, which would add weight.

Instead, the designers just used some molded black plastic and extended the doors into the car's roof. It reflects the GT's slightly sporting intentions.


The interior has a single purpose: hold the passengers while the car moves. However, like many other interiors I've featured, it doesn't feel claustrophobic. The windshield and door windows are huge in comparison to the rest of the car. It's airy. (But the bud vase is someone's stupid idea of an add on. No self respecting car in the world should have a bud vase.)

Oh, and the lever that seems to be sticking through the steering wheel? It's the lever that the driver cranks to turn on the headlights.

All the power comes from this small four-cylinder engine.

Under that ribbed, chromed valve cover are either 67 or 75 miniature horsepowers, depending on the size of the engine.

Honestly, it's not a lot. But when the car weighs as much as an empty Rubbermaid container, you don't need a lot of power.

That's what the GT comes down to: doing a lot with a little and doing it as simply as possible. After all, when you're having fun, does it matter how complicated your car is?

I think not.

Mechanic Fail

The title says it all.

I have learned a very important thing. Between the hours of four and five in the morning, and after staying up for over 20 hours, one does not think properly.

The Die Hard battery is perfectly fine.

In all likelihood, so is the alternator. However, I'm still going to test it just to make sure.

As it turns out, there was just enough acid corrosion between the battery and the end of the battery cable. If I'd been in my right mind that night, I could've just cleaned it off and gone on down the road.

Instead I bought an $89 acid filled brick that I don't need.

There is a lesson here. Check the battery terminals something close to regularly. If there is a large amount of yellow/whitish fluff covering it, it needs to come off.

This is especially important if you have a side post GM style battery like mine. There's only one place for the corrosion to go: between the battery and the bolt.

As I discovered, that kills the connection and the current.

So, there's just one thing left. Anybody need a GM battery?

My Worst Nightmare

Ordinarily I wouldn't recount my personal adventures with cars because they're fairly boring. Usually it amounts to me dropping a wrench on my foot or something like that.

Last night, though, was a completely different story.

I drove about 300 miles last night and into Friday morning while coming home from college. I made it up I-16, through Atlanta and was only 45 minutes from home.

I was in my trusty 1996 Oldsmobile 88 LS sedan.

This isn't my car. However, this picture is exactly like what I drive.

Mine's been a reliable car and it's been in the family since it was new. It has GM's 3800 series V6, which is regarded as one of the best V6 engines ever made. Mechanically it's like the Pope: infallible.

The transmission is a three-speed with overdrive, which kind of sucks. I can tell that it needs another gear, at least, at high speeds. But, like the engine, the tranny is bulletproof and still manages to return decent fuel economy. On the trip up the Olds got between 30 and 35 mpg.

Anyway, I left Savannah at 10:30 p.m. and stopped at a QuikTrip north of Atlanta at 3 in the morning to top off the tank. Four gallons later, I got back into my car and turned the key.

Nothing happened.

Up to this point, my Olds had been it's usual competent self: a highway cruiser that ate up the miles like a dieter going after German chocolate cake.

But now I'd fallen into the automotive version of Purgatory. I was stuck with a dead car nowhere near home at an hour when nothing was open.

So, I called in backup (my mother) and we spent 10 or 15 minutes trying to jump start the damn battery. Which didn't work. In a last ditch, and panicked, effort I ran over to Wal-Mart (thanking whatever executive thought up the "open 24 hours" idea) and bought a brand new battery for $89.

I returned to the gas station and quickly performed a basic battery transplant, while praying that this would work.

The Olds cranked and roared to life. I felt like God's gift to mechanics.

I sped home and finally got to sleep. I would like to state that I'd been up for 24 hours straight at this point. The sleep was good.

Now I need to figure out why a three-month-old Die Hard Gold car battery dropped dead. I don't know if its the alternator (which powers the car while its running and charges the battery) or if the battery itself is defective.

It could be either one, or a combination of the two. However, we went to Sears, they tested the block box full of acid, and determined it to A-OK.

Which is a bunch of BS.

If one battery doesn't start a car and the other does, the first battery must be defective. So I'm getting the battery, and alternator, tested tomorrow somewhere else.

Results, and pictures, will follow.

After It Hit the Fan

Every so slowly we're turning a corner. General Motors has announced that it might start paying back the loans it had to take out.

The New York Times has the entire story here. Granted, what they're "paying" back is just part of the loans that they didn't need. But it's a step in the right direction.

It's only now, when things have almost settled down, that we can realize just how much has changed.

Pontiac and Saturn are dead. Saab and Hummer have new owners (Swedish and Chinese, respectively). Jaguar and Land Rover are owned by an Indian company and the Italians are running Chrysler.

The SUV is slowly dying. The crossover vehicle is ascending. Station wagons are starting to come back and small cars, with small engines, are on the rise again.

But while it's all changing, some of the old is still hanging on.

GM just announced a new Cadillac station wagon, the CTS V, and it'll have around 500hp. There are rumors of a new V8 engine and a high powered version of the Camaro.

Ford's rolling out new V8s in size and power that we haven't seen since the early 1970s.

But I think we're seeing the last glorious gasp of power. Emission laws and Corporate Average Fuel Economy will bring it all to an end.

Hell, let's enjoy it while we can. Burn that last piece of rubber in celebration. The Big Three still exist, they're just a lot smaller.

But if we have to sacrifice power and size to keep GM, Ford and Chrysler, then so be it. I don't want to see any more brands die or companies fail.

I don't want to see more people lose their jobs.

There's just one thing that the executives at GM need to understand when they buy their company back. It's what the people at Fiat and Chrysler must remember in the next two years. It's what Ford has already grasped.

To survive, to thrive, they must produce a quality product. That is the one constant.

Need Reliable Excitement? See MR2.

Behold, the most reliable way to have some mid-engined fun in your life: the Toyota MR2 (1984-2005).

This is the first generation, another '80s child as this particular car is from 1986.

Again, the best way to make something look sporty in the '80s was to make it a wedge. Now, granted, this is definitely not the most extreme wedge known to man. But it is a very compact one.

Doesn't it look good in black?

Interestingly, the "trunk" had two pieces. The part with the spoiler will lift up for access to the mail slot that acts as storage. The part right next to the glass lifts up to reveal the engine.

The little four-cylinder engine is what makes this car so reliable in that typical Toyota way.

Automobile Magazine did an article last year about cheap sports cars. The first generation MR2 was on its list. They described the engine, the thing buried under all those wires and hoses, as "grenade proof."

It's an almost indestructible, and depending on the model it can make 112 or 130hp. That's plenty in a car this small.

But Toyota must have been in the grips of some form of madness when they made a supercharged version in 1988 which boosted power to 145.

Regrettably, this car is an '86, so its owner can't experience the instant acceleration that the supercharge would provide.

But they did opt for the manual transmission.

The MR2 is one of those cars that seems to wrap around you. But it wouldn't feel claustrophobic because the dash is so low and there's so much glass around you.

That dash looks like it was whittled down from a solid piece of plastic and then plopped into this car. I mean that in a good way because this interior comes from a completely different Toyota than what we know today.

Actually, the entire car falls into that category.

This is the only two-door car badged as a Toyota.

It's called the Camry Solara. So it's designed to appeal to people as a very staid, upright sort of coupe. There's nothing exciting about it.

That's the problem with Toyota's car lineup. There's nothing exciting; nothing like the MR2. We know that Toyota is reliable, but that can't be their only selling point anymore because too many companies have caught up with them.

Toyota can build fun and exciting cars, the MR2 is proof of that all by itself. There are even other Toyotas that can inspire lust, and they will appear here in the future.

But those cars are from the past. Toyota needs excitement and personality now.

Small, Stylish and Not Sold Here

Behold, another nice car that America may never see: the Alfa Romeo Mito (2008-Present).

Built by Alfa Romeo, which is another brand owned by Fiat, the Mito is a compact car that we need here in America.

Essentially, it falls into the "premium compact" segment that is best represented by the BMW Mini. In other words, it's a small car that doesn't feel cheap. They have leather seats, navigation and all the other toys you could want.

The Mini, best described as "cute," is what founded this market segment in America. It proved that we are willing to pay a lot for style in a small car.

The Mito, is in the same vein. But instead of cute it's "sexy."

Well, maybe not completely sexy. There is something slightly off about the front, the placement of the headlights, really. But the Mito has some very nice curves going on.

Let's face it. That's a nice...behind.

The Mini is a smiling box of a car. Every morning it would greet its owner with its happy little face and then politely ask to for said owner to toss it through a corner at moderate speed. Then, when it gets to Target, the Mini will easily hold all the shopping its owner needs.

The Mito, being Italian, begs to get thrown through a corner at high speed. It would greet its owner every morning by, metaphorically, shoving its hand into said owner's pants. Then it will gladly go about daily life.

The Mito's interior has the same basic idea in mind. Real world functionality mixed with Italian style.

Yes, it's black. But it's that kind of black that looks cool and keeps it from looking like a cheap car.

But then again, the Mito isn't cheap.

After the exchange rate (I converted British Pounds into our Dollars) the Mito almost perfectly stacks up against the Mini in terms of price. Both cars fall into the $20 thousand range.

So Alfa needs to bring this car here. It would sell simply because its an attractive, decently priced, competitor to the Mini. The good news is that Alfa became Chrysler's sister in law after that Italian/American shotgun wedding.

There is a market for premium compact cars in America, the Mini's proven that. Hopefully Fiat will realize it when their 500 comes to America. With any luck, the Mito will be on it's heels.

Back From the Past, Into the Future

Behold, the basis for one of the coolest movie cars ever made: the DeLorean DMC-12 (1981-1982).

Is there any question why they made the Time Machine out of it?

Now, it does look like it came from the early '80s. After all, it's all angles and squares. The only round things are the wheels.

It also has that tacky slot covering on the back.

Almost no car in the world can pull that off, except for a DeLorean. It just fits in with the car's unabashedly '80s character.

The interior does too, even if it does have more plastic than the Rubbermaid factory.

It's gray and very plain, typical of the time. But, really, with the stainless steel body panels do you really need any more flash?

Not really. But it could use a better engine in the back.


Unfortunately, the American version was neutered. The European model made 170hp. But thanks to American emission regulations, we got an engine that put down 130hp.

That's not nearly enough to properly motivate a stainless steel covered car.

So without Back to the Future, the DMC-12 would've been a footnote in history. It would be that silver car, with the weird doors. You know, the one that was kind of neat looking.

Then this happened:
John Z. Delorean, the man who founded the company, wrote a letter to film's director. He thanked them for immortalizing the car. Rightly so.

Now the Delorean is a childhood icon. Now the doors are cool, and the stainless steel is awesome. It feels futuristic, even if it is pushing 30.

What makes it even better is that you can have one new.

Another Delorean Motor Company, this one based in Texas, builds them from parts left over from the original run. The new car starts out at about $57 thousand.

No word on what happens when you hit 88mph.

More Powerful Than an Angry Hampster

Behold, one of the best ways to drive slowly: the Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel (1975-1984)

This particular one is from 1981, and sticks to the basic idea of putting a box on a box behind another box.

Though boxy, it's not ugly. This Rabbit has a sense that it was designed as a very competent, useful car. There's nothing unnecessary here.

It's a pretty small car, just look at the wheels in relation to the body.

But there's plenty of space.

You could hold a small game of football in back and still have room for the cheerleaders.

So what makes this car so slow?

This:
Buried under all those tubes, and almost completely hidden by the air cleaner, is the diesel engine. Depending on the size, it could make 48, 52 or 68hp.

So it'll do 0-60 in about a week.

But there's an advantage to this little diesel engine: mileage. The universe will probably end before you have to refill the tank.

While you're waiting to make the speed limit you'll at least be sitting in a nice place.

Yes, it is made of plastic, and its tan. But anything else just wouldn't fit this car's character. In a sense, it's an honest car. It knows what it is and it doesn't try to do anything else.

This Rabbit was designed to be cheap, that was its mission. But it was also designed to run forever. Wood fades and peels, while leather cracks. Plastic just keeps going and going.

So will this car. I'm sure that in twenty years, when everyone is driving a clean hybrid or an electric powered egg car, one of these will still be roaming the streets.

I also know that when it pulls away from a stoplight it'll leave a massive cloud of black smoke behind it as it slowly clatters down the street.

In fact, I'd love to be the person driving it.

The Car, She is a Citroen

Behold, one of the most awesome French cars ever made: the Citroen SM (1970-1975).

Now bask in its magnificence.

Citroen has been around since 1919. Until recently, they were known as a company that defied common sense and made cars that were completely insane.

Or, "quirky."

All the same, the SM is a very good looking car.

It looks like an airplane's fuselage. It's rounded, low to the ground, and suggests speed even when its standing still. The SM is a perfect example of the European grand tourering automobile.

You get in it, and go on a long, comfortable trip. Then you're swathed in style and leather while blasting down the road at over a 100mph.

So what's so crazy about that?

Well, the insanity starts under the hood.

Those green bulbs are part of the suspension system, what keeps the car down on the road and absorbs all the bumps in the pavement. Most companies use shock absorbers (gas filled tubes) to do this.

Citroen used a pressurized liquid. That's what's in those green bulbs.

There were more of those bulbs in back and the entire system worked to keep the car level and at the correct ride height. The system self-adjusted based on how much weight was in the car.

The steering was controlled by the same system and adjusted the amount of effort it took to steer based on speed. It took almost no effort to go through a parking lot, but took more grunt at over sixty.

Just for the record, the hydraulics were all mechanical, no computers involved.

So even though Citroen's crazy engineering is reason enough to own the SM, it's still a gorgeous car. The interior is just as stylish as the exterior.


That gearshift, which is for a manual, is a work of art.

Sitting in this for a thousand miles wouldn't be a problem at all.

However, the leather seats and curved dashboard feel like they should be clouded by cigarette smoke. It would be their natural environment in the '70s.

The idea of having a French styled, hydraulic cushioned, front-wheel drive Grand Tourer is shiver inducing.

Until it breaks down at least. Which it inevitably will because it's a French car.

But such is life.

Just When You Thought They Got It Right

Of the three American car makers Ford is generally considered to be in the best position product wise. Their CEO, Allan Mullaly (the Man From Boeing), is a pretty smart man.

Thanks to him Ford has expanded its product portfolio, boosted build quality and made their interiors nice places to sit. Bravo.

He's also going to bring some cars over from Europe because Ford realized that such a place exists and that the cars over there are better.

But then they pulled this bone-headed move and said that America isn't going to get the new Ford Ranger:
Quite simply, this is stupid. I thought that Ford learned that the world is a global place, not just America and everywhere else.

So, instead, we're stuck with this for another year:
It's not hideous, it's not offensive, it's not even bad. It simply exists.

It's also older than the universe. The Ranger has looked like this since 1998, and is Ford's version of a New Year's resolution. Every year they promise to redesign it, and every year they just can't be bothered.
Now, granted, they've changed the grill a few times. But that's like growing a mustache and shaving it off. Yes, you look different, but it's not major surgery.

The reason that this truck still exists is because it's the only compact truck on the market, along with the Mazda version. Every other small pickup is in the midsize category.

It might make too much sense, but if you own a market you should exploit it for all its worth. Gas isn't going to go down, and Americans are starting to buy smaller cars. They're going to want smaller trucks.

Perhaps Ford will just make life easier for us all and bring back the Ranchero.
Yeah, and when that happens I'll start a snow shoveling business in Hell.

Look, It's Godzilla

If there's one thing that almost all car blogs have in common it's pictures of cars found "Down on the Street," as Jalopnik calls it.

There's a difference between seeing pictures of a car and seeing it in real life. In a picture it's just an object, a piece of metal sitting on a platform or driving down a road.

In real life though, you can feel a car's presence. You can see just how it sits on the ground or how tall it is compared to you.

But more than that, you know that it really does exist in the real world.

So behold the Nissan GT-R (2007-Present), aka Godzilla, as found in Savannah, Georgia.

It's Nissan's halo car. A $76 thousand sports car that is, supposedly, faster than some $100 thousand plus Porsches.

It also beat the bullet train across Japan.

It's a car that suggests raw power just by the way it's styled. It looks brutal, almost chiseled from a solid piece of metal.

Under that bulging hood, and behind the snarling grill, is a 480hp.

The Japanese call it Godzilla because it combines a 3.8L twin-turbo V6 and an incredibly well tuned suspension system. It rockets around corners and, in keeping with the nickname, destroys competitors.

At least now I know it really does exist.